Archive for August, 2006

I love Middlebury, Vermont. In fact, it’s probably one of the nicest villages in America. But don’t tell anyone. Crosswalks. If you are a pedestrian in Middlebury, Vermont, and you approach a crosswalk, be careful. You had better be ready to actually cross the street. Why? Because in Middlebury, Vermont, if a pedestrian approaches the crosswalk drivers…stop. Really. I am not making this up. Drivers stop. But there is a problem.

Problem? What’s wrong with a crosswalk that…works? Well, it’s tourists. I guess I have been a Vermont resident long enough (7 years) to recognize when a walker is unaware of the crosswalk etiquette associated with hamlets where drivers actually heed the ordinance of right of way for pedestrians.

Here’s how it’s supposed to work. You’re walking along the sidewalk and are approaching an intersection that you intend to cross. As you approach the intersection, identify the flow of traffic. If there is a new flow of traffic, slow down! Let the cars flow through the intersection! After all, they had just experienced a halt to enable the flow of pedestrians and now it is their turn. Then, timing is everything. Confidently queue to the curb. Cars stop. People smile. You cross. Unless….

New Jersey plates. Massachusetts plates. (Maybe) New York plates. Then, you, the walker, are in dire need of reflection upon your years on this Earth. “Is my life insurance sufficiant to cover my burial? And to cover the airfare of my old bud’s coming to the celebration?”

Now, drivers. Before I proceed, allow a flashback [harp sfx IN] It’s 1988. Santa Monica Freeway in Los Angeles. Crosswalk. I’m driving a rental. My front wheels inch over the crosswalk line (a bit.) Pedestrians begin to (I am not making this up) walk over my hood as they go to the other side. Lesson learned. [Harp sfx OUT]

When we are walking in Middlebury, we must realize that many drivers have been, well, just fine. Nice. Generous. But there are those who see it as I once did. Green means stop. The intersection is blocked. Amber means “kick it” through the uprights. Red means “fuggedaboudit.” Crosswalks mean “points.”