Speling Madders
We all get roaming email funnies. I delete 99.9% Good for a laugh:
European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official
language of the European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British
Government conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year
phase-in plan that would become known as
“”Euro-English”".
In the first year, “”s”" will replace the
soft “”c”". Sertainly, this will make the sivil
servants jump with joy.
The hard “”c”" will be dropped in favour of
“”k”". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards
kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in
the sekond year when the troublesome “”ph”" will be
replaced with “”f”". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the
new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage
where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of
double letters which have always ben a deterent to
akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the
silent “”e”" in the languag is disgrasful and it
should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to
steps such as replasing “”th”" with “”z”" and “”w”"
with “”v”".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “”o”" kan
be dropd from vords kontaining “”ou”" and after ziz
fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl rite n styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and
evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze
drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking
German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza
pepl.
